Thursday, December 27, 2007

The New Year is upon us and so are new and exciting things!

The New Year (2008) is upon us, boy this year went so fast at least for me it did.

I have a lot coming up for me this year and one is completing my documentary! I also have a publication that I will be working on as well on the side. The most recent event though will be a photo shoot for an up and coming clothing line called BLUR Dezign.

Check this out, “BLUR is an environment, culture, and identity for those uniquely-established, trend-bending anti-ordinary beauties.” “BLUR drives you to your stylish edge, dares you to jump, and distorts which is ordinary…Welcome to your Identity.”

When I got picked to be apart of the 2008 Spring/Summer BLUR Mature line collection, I was so happy! My first thought was that they saw in me I’m sure what I saw in them…one word, Unique. Their fashions aide individuals in embracing their individuality and in addition to that they design for the plus size population. They customize BLUR fashions for sizes 10 – 26…

I am so looking forward to being part of what I’m trying to represent. What am I representing???? I’m representing MY BALD SELF AS A WOMAN IN THIS SOCIETY WHO HAS ALOPECIAJ. I’m representing a positive self-image. I’m representing a person exposed.

If you are reading this and you get a chance, check out the au courant and hip fashions at www.blurdezign.com. My favorite is the “Distorted Denim” the cuff links really set this outfit off…Love it!

Oh…Happy New Year!

"Shake it Off"

“Mommy, look that lady is bald…” coming from a child not older than 5 years old. A child that young and observant to notice that I didn’t have hair, I had to laugh though. I laughed at our society because I was standing right next to my bald husband, but the child noticed that I was the bald one…so mentally, I shake it off, smile and go on…sometimes I’ll try to educate both the child and the mother. I try to let the child know that I am Ok and not to be scared or surprised the next time they see a bald woman.

“Shake it off” is a series that I speak to women about. Not only about the tie ups that society has about hair or lack there of but about life in general.

We are not perfect…the meaning for perfect is flawless; complete; undamaged. Now myself, I’ve been through some things. Unhealthy relationships, debt, being a young single mother (age 20)…lost 2 babies (miscarriages), allergies, been in a couple of bad car accidents...I could go on, but it’s just getting harder though. My point is, there is no perfection here and this is LIFE and life just seems to happen…so what do we do??

Life is a funny thing when you sit back and think about it. It’s a constant “something”, something is ALWAYS happening be it good or bad or just alright. We are born into this world and then we die…what we do in the middle and how we handle “stuff” in hopes that we do not waste the short time that we do have here on earth, is up to us.

Shake means: To move from firmness; to weaken the stability of; to cause to waver; to impair the resolution of…What a powerful definition this is!

So with all the curve balls and adversities that life has thrown in my life, sometimes it was hard to move, to even lift a finger and think about shaking.Through it all though with God’s help, I must say that the homework is turned in and I realize that I have many more assignments to go...but I can tell you that when I decided to shake a little...just a little to make my situations, and my adversities to waver and become unstable… I would always keep in mind of the walk from one step to the next...they were long...and the load switched in it’s weight, but I Thank God for giving me strength, keeping me in peace, and keeping that steady stream of Joy in my life! Thus making me Stronger…

What is it that you need to shake off? Are you damaged by the issues of “LIFE”, and have you let those issues go? What will you do to make your time here on this earth a better one?

"Excuses"

Sunday 9/30/2007 was the 15th Annual AIDS walk downtown Louisville, and my son was part of the River City Drum Corp of Louisville...one of the many performances.

It was such a beautiful day, the weather was Perfect!

As I was sitting under a tree with my 2 daughters, both really fussy and tired from the long day. This little girl ran up to me, she had to be about 6 years old. She came up to me and said, "why did you cut your hair off?". I was taken back by her question, not with anger but I was so shocked that she had the courage to ask me. So I smiled, and when I say that I smiled...I smiled in my heart. I tried to explain to her in little people terms because I didn't want to confuse her in any way. So I preceeded to tell her..."our body's inside has this figher system that fight off colds, the flu and other things that try to make us sick. Well that fighter system is doing what it's supposed to do in me but it fighting my hair by mistake...it doesn't mean too. I'm not sick though, and it doesn't hurt me...I just don't have any hair now." So the little girl runs back over to where she came from, which was a pretty good ways away.

Later, maybe 20 - 25 minutes, I ran into the little girl and her mother. Just striking up conversation because the little girl was looking at me, I said to the mother "you know your daughter asked me why I cut my hair off." The mother looked at me and said, "did you give her a good excuse?", "what excuse did you give her?" I said, "no excuse, just told her that my imm..." and the lady walks away. I mean she wouldn't even let me finish.

(OH MY GOODNESS...EXCUSE!)

I pondered on that for a while, as you can see:0) I wondered if she gave her excuses regularly, then I looked at how excuses have played a role in my life.

I just recently had my son write this saying that I learned back in high school, so that he can minimize the excuses that he gives.
"Excuses are tools of the incompetent used to build monuments to nothing. For those who specialize in them shall never be good at anything else." Unknown
I have to say that I've used excuses so many times, but the ones that actually count are those that have affected my life in such a way that when I look back, things could have been different. I could have finised college back when I was 21 years old, instead of now being a lifetime member (student). You can laugh, because I know that I am not only speaking about myself:0).

Then I wonder, if I'd done everything that I say I should have done, would I be here at this time of my life? Would I be the person I am now, the person that knows who she is? Who knows, I have however lessen the excuses that come out of my mouth. My children for sure get the short end of excuses from me, meaning I don't give them a lot of excuses. I just say "because you can't..."

We have to be able to step out, take chances, face things head on without excuses. I've learned that when you do make an excuse about anything, you'll never know the outcome.

Equality

Was riding in my car this morning and I was thinking about everything like I usually do, all the time. Only today this particular event in my life came to mind and I really have no clue why.

It was about 5 1/2 years ago when my son was in the 3rd grade (seems like yesterday…boy how time flies), he attended the YMCA’s after-school program daily. Everyday, there would be a group of parents all rushing to get there to the school before 6 o’clock so we wouldn’t get a fee for being late. It’s funny because it would be the same group, me included.

As we signed our children out, we would chat a little…normally about the kids and how silly they are being or slow moving they are as we were waiting. Well as time goes on, days and weeks go by we all started to know one another. It was never really on a personal level but the talks were more involved, and you notice STUFF.

There was this one lady in particular that I would talk to and for some reason she looked different to me on this particular day. Ahhh! I said. I know what it is but I dare not say a word to her to let on that I know anything; it would make her uncomfortable I’d thought. So I went home told my husband about my theory and told him that I was going to say something to her tomorrow.

The next day, oddly I actually didn’t see her…I was very upset that I could pose my question to her. The following day, however was my day to ask. I remember going up to her and saying, “I just want you to know that I don’t have any hair either and I make wraps.” Then there was SILENCE…. I was like, “I’m sorry!” She laughed and told me that she’d been going through chemo for about a month. She told me that at first the thought of loosing her hair was not a big thing, so she thought. Now though, she was embarrassed she said. Then she wanted to know about why I lost my hair. I informed her about Alopecia, the little that I knew about it at that time. She looked at me and said that my condition was just as big as her condition. She told me that she would pray for me because our issues are just as equal and she ask me to pray for her…for her healing.

As time went on I would see her, and she would tell me about her process and as time had gone on she was slowly getting her hair back. By the end of the school year, she had it all back. At times I got very upset because mine was still not there. She shedded her wigs and at the time I was still wearing them or wraps.

So as I was driving today and I thought about that particular event in my life leading up to now, I think of all the comments, the mistaken thought that I do or must have cancer because of my bald head. I’d thought and wondered if there was really any equality, any similarity in the two.

Cancer:
Fatigue
Nausea & Vomiting
Pain
Hair Loss
Anemia
Infection
Blood Clotting Problems
Mouth, Gum and Throat Problems
Diarrhea and Constipation
Nerve and Muscle Effects
Effects on Skin and Nails
Radiation Recall
Kidney and Bladder Effects
Flu-Like Symptoms
Fluid Retention
Effects on Sexual Organs and Sexuality


Alopecia:

Hair Loss
Nail issues
Some local pain
Other auto-immune issues

(Each is somewhat different)

These are only a few that I could think of for the both, but my final word was that I was not sick…I’m not drained because of treatments. I also choose not to use anything for the simple reason of side effects. So the Alopecia list could surely be a little longer. The only for real equal thing that we have in common is the loss of hair, only mine will probably not come back…so those with alopecia it’s a long termed mental devastation (if you let it be) because one has to continue to cover up or come up with different ways to hide the baldness… (again if you let it…)

So as I pulled into the parking lot at my job, I sat and thought about this all and confirmed my Mission. I didn’t at the time know why I thought about that lady, maybe the process of getting all my emotions past and present all rolled up into 1 and making something out of it.

Both conditions are such dreaded positions in anyone’s life and I guess to a certain extent the conditions can be viewed as equal, especially in women. The first thought is usually loosing hair! However, I’m not sick nor will I die from Alopecia…so I find LIGHT, literally at the end of my tunnel…I find gratefulness, a new look on things because LIFE can always be worse. My fight is not tired, and my body is not taxed…

So as I stepped outside my car to walk into the building, confirmation came to me the reason why my mind fell on that lady, our talks and that ‘Equal” statement she made…KEEP FIGHTING, KEEP YOUR HEAD UP, KEEP STEPPING TALL, KEEP ENCOURAGED, KEEP LIVING AND LOVING LIFE, KEEP JOY AND HAPPINESS, KEEP FAITH…

Just like Alopecia, Cancer is also an unpredictable disease that can happen to anyone. I will also post information about the National Cancer Society along with the National Alopecia Areata Foundation on this site, all in hopes for AWARENESS, HELP and a CURE or more suitable treatments.

Our Deepest Fear

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” by Marianne Williamson

...and as we let our light shine, we unconsciously give other people...Hope, and Encourgement...to do the same.

We as a people are such strong vessels in this thing called life. We touch others without knowing it. We set examples when we had no intentions of doing so. I have to say however that our biggest mistake is not showing self and others our full potential and by that we miss out on our true purpose in life.

Marianne states, " Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?" Who are YOU not to be, who am I not to be!

Through prayer, motivation from others and a Little bit of hair loss:), I know my purpose. But why is it that we have to get knocked down to then realize what road we need to go down, when the signs were always there...all along. Could it have been "FEAR"?

I give things, writings, inspirational pieces to my children in hopes that they will not let "Fear" stand in there way of anything.

I'm blogging this because reading this has helped me in my journey and I pray that it will do the same for you, especially if you have not yet arrived at your destiny.

Encourage Yourself

I haven’t been blogging and believe me, I’ve been hearing about it…Please if you have comments about what I write and you want to express what you feel about what I write, please let me and others know by filling the comments log out on the side of this page.

Encourage Yourself

I was talking to my mother this morning, hadn’t spoken to her since last week. This is odd for us both because usually I’m on the phone with her daily. We have this thing that we do because usually when I call she’s at work and she has to put people on hold often. Well, sometimes she’d put me on hold and she’ll get busy and won’t come back, so I would end up hanging up. So now when I call, the first thing that I say to her is “I love you, Bye-Bye…” and she says it back to me. Then we start our conversation and if I have to hang up then we’ve technically already ended our call and we’ll part knowing that we Love each another. Ok, I said all of this to say… that I spoke to my mom this morning (lol).

She was telling me about her weekend and about this song that she’d heard, that I must say is appropriate for all of our lives. The song is called ‘Encourage Yourself”. Now how AWESOME is this concept? We look for others to encourage us in many things that we do or go through, but the true encouragement lies within us.

Donald Lawrence says, “Sometimes you have to encourage yourself. Sometimes you have to speak victory during the test. And no matter how you feel, speak the word and you will be healed; speak over yourself… Sometimes you have to speak the word over yourself, the pressure is all around, but God is present help. The enemy created walls, but remember giants, they do fall; speak over yourself, encourage yourself in the Lord.
…life can hurt you so, 'til you feel there's nothing left. (No matter how you feel), (speak the word and you will be healed).”

Encouraging you…This is such a hard task to do, especially when you are going through something that just will not let up, not even a little. I do it however, sometimes on shaky ground and at times I do have my moments when the ground shakes a little too much and I fall. Thank God for strength and the knowledge of knowing where my help comes from and because of that I get back up to continue.

So, how do you start encouraging you?

First start to be aware of what encourages you. When others encourage you, what are they saying to you?
Praise yourself. You won’t be self centered if you give yourself A LOT of praise. We are our worst “everything”, change this perception in you.
Write yourself “Notes of Power” or speak to yourself with your “Inner Voice of Power”…packed with lots of positive outcomes, just as you’re about to tackle something Big or small. Do this daily and this will keep your mind on a positive track.
Celebrate your victories.
Tell yourself “I am important”, “I am special”, and “I am Powerful!”

It’s amazing our minds and thoughts and how much we call the shots in our own outcomes. Be Encouraged!

Peace